ANGRY!!!

Ok, I haven't ranted in a day or so. I need to talk about my brother, his situation really bugs the hell out of me. I'm going through the question portion of why him, why us. He doesn't deserve any of this, why cancer, why him, why didn't the chemo work the first time?

The update is, my brother went back to have tests done and start up on chemo again. His tests confirmed the worst, not only was the tumor still on his kidney but has doubled in size. The cancer also spread to his adrenal glands and a small tumor on his scapula. Now we have gone from finishing up chemo treatments to continuing chemo treatments, adding two weeks of radiation therapy and a mid-December, merry fucking Christmas, removal of part or all of his kidney. I'm so angry I spent the evening crying and the night laying awake staring at the ceiling. (A big thank you to Molly for coming over from Youngstown to be with me for the evening. She's just plain incredible, words can't describe how much she means to me.)

Why the hell around Christmas, Kevin loves Christmas. He would always get enough toys to make his sister and I jealous and remind him of Christmas past when we would get 50% clothes and 50% toys instead of an 10/90 split like him.

Why do my parents have to go through this, I can see the years piling on every week when I go home to help out. My Dad won't get his shoulder looked at because he feels he needs to be ready to help out with Kevin, my Mom is beside herself. She's a nurse, she knows the damn odds that are stacking up here. Why does Kevin have to suffer at 20 years of age?

It would be nice if there was more answers than questions but that is all I can seem to find at this point in time. Sorry for the rant.

Kevin is still in good spirits and keeps his emotions close so it's hard to read him. Right now he seems OK so we will all continue to fight with, for him.

He's my hero.